i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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