He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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