Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
