proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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