sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize