so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My bed smells like the plague
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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