I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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