after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize