I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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