It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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