plz talk dirty to me
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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