I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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