I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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