when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
