he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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