ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
