real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i out mim tonsoeep
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