we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
