He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
