are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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