We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
