bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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