they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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