I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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