Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
