last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
