How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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