I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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