tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
