No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
