apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
