I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
