so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
