The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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