it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
