yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
