im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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