I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
