yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
