she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
