i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
