some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
