i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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