I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I want to have your abortion
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
