well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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