we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
