im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Ketchup is God's man juice
I understand Curling. That high.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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