if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
