I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
