I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize