Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize