WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
