he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
