I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
