I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
