Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
