i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize