can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
