I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My pussy is not your playground.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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