Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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