Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
