you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
