I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
